I remember not feeling all that confident in my ability to hear God’s voice in prayer. I would think about other people I knew who seemed to have an easier time hearing God’s voice. They would say things like: I feel that God is asking me to take this job. I know God is inviting me to let go of this relationship. God spoke into my heart that I needed to call this person.

I worried that maybe I wasn’t praying the right way. 

Had I been forgetting a word in my Hail Marys? Was I not sitting still enough during silent prayer? I can remember attending eucharistic Adoration, witnessing people next to me with tears streaming down their faces. Others seemed to be swept up in an impressive meditative state (as if already participating in the beatific vision!). And then I would sit there, doing my best to pray but there was nothing. Was I just not any good at it?

But then something started to happen as I committed to setting time aside each day for God. I started to get a sense of how God spoke to me. Slowly and subtly, I began to hear the Lord’s voice in my life.

It certainly never came as an actual voice (though some people do indeed receive that grace—just look at the saints). But as I spent more time seeking God by receiving the Eucharist, going to confession, and reciting the rosary, I started to feel His movements and guidance in my life. 

His voice started to come in the words of others, certain feelings or inclinations, novel insights or thoughts, or while reading Thomas Merton or St. Augustine. I would be struggling with feelings of apathy and loneliness and then I would receive an email from a friend about the importance of faith-based community at just the right time. Or I would be worried about a problem and then a sudden peace would flower and I would know exactly how to handle it. I started to realize these were instances of God speaking to me. 

I began to realize that God does indeed speak to everyone, but He speaks in ways that are personal and unique to each of us. He might choose to speak to us through a priest at Mass, a friend over the phone, a feeling of peace after we receive the Eucharist, or even through an inner voice of love. 

I also started to realize the key to hearing his voice was simply giving God space to actually speak to us. As long as we’re willing to listen and set time aside to do so, God will no doubt find a way to reach us with His voice according to the unique way He designed us.

As Henri Nouwen wrote, “Prayer is not what is done by us, but rather what is done by the Holy Spirit in us.” It’s by simply setting time aside that we begin to allow the Holy Spirit to pray through us. We only need to show up. God will do the rest to make sure we can hear Him.

In addition to making time for prayer, it’s also worthwhile to ask directly to hear His voice. If you don’t yet know the ways God wants to speak to you, then make that your prayer: Lord, how do you want to speak to me? Take time daily to simply ask God to help you discern His voice in your life. 

And, finally, try different forms of prayer. Commit to ten or twenty minutes every day of reading Scripture, sitting in silence, reciting a rosary, reading a spiritual book, or going on a walk and lifting your mind to God. Soon you’ll start to identify certain practices that allow you to feel God’s presence and hear His voice more clearly. And once you’ve identified them, you can re-focus on them to deepen your prayer life.

If you don’t hear the voice of God when you first start praying, that’s alright. Trust the process and ask Him to help you. Remember, you’re not alone. Even St. Paul said that “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Yet, if we give him space and time, we can be sure that the Holy Spirit will teach us to recognize God’s quiet voice of love and compassion.